Well, it has been a very interesting week! I officially registered for my first doctorate level course – yikes! AND I put in an inquiry for a grade change. Part of me feels really sad about leaving first grade because I have worked so hard to learn about first graders and teaching these little guys, that I don’t want to switch. However, I think I need a bit of a change.
I started out teaching 3rd and 4th grade, so first was a culture shock. I never thought I would be teaching the grade for as long as a I have. This year has been a challenge over all – one of the most challenging for me professionally, and the thought of a new grade and new building is very energizing!
I have often felt like I spent so much of my energy and thinking trying to fit in as a first grade teacher – a square peg in a round hole so to speak. I feel like I am a very strong first grade teacher, but have yearned to return to a grade level I used to teach to see if it was a better choice for me.
I have also ended up in a spot where I represent on soooo many committees that they are overshadowing my teaching and what I love about my job. There are some days when I have 2-3 meetings a day…and I still teach. The emails, phone calls, appointments, and agendas have just gotten way too out of control. On my college application I listed all of these positions. During my interviews I was asked if I was on a track to administration – so not the case. But that tells you a lot about the spot I am in. I will not be writing CORE curriculum for ELA AND Math, or grade level co-chair (which also includes a k-5 curriculum position and a district-wide curriculum council position), on the literacy council, the data inquiry team, and so on. Sadly, switching grades and buildings will take so much off my plate. I am a hard worker, but at some point one has to be realistic and decide what is really important in life. Whew! Big weight lifted just typing that!
I have several colleagues I will miss terribly and dread telling them, if when everything is finalized, I end up somewhere else. However, they are great friends, so I am sure that they will support my choice and know that I am doing what is best for me and will reduce my stress level.
I will also miss so much about the first grade blog world – you all have truly revolutionized the way I teach and made life a billion times easier. I need to start checking out 2nd, 3rd, or 4th grade bloggers too! Not sure which grade I will be in.
I guess when I make changes, I REALLY make changes, huh? I read a quote:
It’s not that I don’t like where I am, but the sentiment struck me. I can make changes and make the most out of my career and life. Hopefully I am making the right choice for where I am in my life right now.
More to come as we round out the year and I figure out what I am doing!